Perfektly Mary

We signed on our new house yesterday, Dustin got his first Godaddy paycheck and I let my emotions get the better of me.

There’s been peace in our home the past two weeks. True Godly peace. We aren’t balanced yet or in the clear but I think both are o.k.. Dustin wrote out a personal contract of his action points for our marriage. It amazed me. I was worried that the things that were bothering me and I couldn’t quite put into words, would go unnaddresed. God showed him those areas! He’s going to be kinder to me in the way he talks to in daily conversation and listen to my issues and not even bring his up. The last one is why I say things aren’t balanced, but for now, it’s necessary to build trust and help him to see what giving up his own personal expectations, and laying down his life is truly like.

He’s gun shy about giving my emotions his full attention. Understandably. I pretty much hitched him up to the back of my diesel and dragged him along my emotional ride for five years. He’s battered, bruised and trying to heal. That’s good for me, although hard, because it gives me the opportunity to learn to go to God first with my emotions rather than forcing Dustin to fix and deal with them. That’s something I have struggled with all my life.

I completed the court ordered Anger Management Class last weekend and it showed me a lot about myself. I’m actually thankful to have gone to it. Tomorrow is my final court date. I bring in proof of payment of fines to the domestic violence fund and my completion of the class, then they take the whole thing off of my record! The only remains being a hard lesson learned.

It seems like we are preparing for our own New Years celebrations. Things are getting wrapped up; moving; court; new job; new stable income; Dustin not working from home. We have resolutions fueled with hope for a new beginning. Happy New Years Boston family.