Perfektly Mary

Standing in line at the counter of American Eagle, I absent mindedly listen to the woman ahead of me babble to the sales clerk about how she doesn’t have a rewards card but her son probably does. “Blah, blah, blah can you look up our account. No? Can he get the points some other way?”

The cute female sales clerk responds with something or the other, but I’m so distracted by her style, pep, and cuteness I don’t hear a thing. I’m totally checking her out the typical female way. (That topic deserves a post all to itself). Her sweetness makes me aware of the peppy music that has been there all along. I’m tapping my toe, digging for my keys with MY rewards card…I for one will not be caught without my card like the blubbering woman in front of me. O.k. maybe she’s not blubbering. Maybe she’s perfectly normal. Maybe I just want to impress the cute sales clerk. Maybe she will think I’m cute too and we can form our own American Eagle cute club. I feel cooler just having her take my money. (And don’t tell me that I’m the only one who falls for getting self esteem boosters by association. What about this. How is buying their make up going to make my boobs that have survived two babies any perkier? Hmmm? But if I buy their stuff, and associate myself with them, it will. Hallelujah!)

Now, Ooo Ooo, it’s my turn to chat with the sales clerk. Later blubbery lady! Cute sales clerk: “Really, it’s not that difficult to log on and get your rewards points. You just, blah, blah, blah…..(*I wonder if they sell that cute little necklace she’s wearing here? That is so cute! I would have never thought to pair that shirt with those shorts*)……..”and then easy peazy you have all your points.”

WHAT? no no no. Did she just say “easy peasy”. I look up at her shocked that my girl crush just embarrassed herself like that. She’s no longer cool or enviable. We’re through. But then, she bats her perfect Stila eyelashes and I decide that she is cool enough to pull it off. She can afford to be that big of a dork since it’s offset by her general wonderfulness.

That got me thinking about the things I say and whether or not I pull them off. Rad. AAAAAwesome! Sweet as! Dude. Girlfriend. Can I afford that much dork?
Or what about these other dorkables:

• The cousin of the right word. “I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. My consensus is to strong.” I think the word you’re looking for is conscience, but somehow that works.

• The mispronounciater. “Bucca di Beppo sounds great! I just love eyetalian food”

• The too old to talk this young.

• Phrase is way to old. “That’s dope!”

• A suffix makes anything a word.(My personal favorite.) Let’s look through my post for examples of this shall we? “mindedly” “dorkable” “wonderfuler” “mispronounciater”.

What about you? Leave me a comment with your dorkables and why you think you can pull them off!