Perfektly Mary

Yesterday I kept trying to figure out how to best communicate to my hairdresser what I really wanted.

So like any other sleep deprived, dillusional woman, I consulted my imaginary fair hairdresser as to what I should do. The conversation went something like this: (And if you weren’t convinced I was a lunatic by my four earlier posts devoted to my hair, you will be now)

Fairy Hairdresser: So who was the suprise Emmy winning artist at the Godaddy Christmas Party? Was it Lenny Kravitz like I thought?
Imaginary Me: Nope, it was the Gin Blossoms. I think they were wearing the same outfits they wore in the ’90’s. They looked bored to me though. At one point, the lead singer actually dissapeared off stage and came back several minutes later with a half-full cup of something. He then toasted himself and drank 4 different times, during one song! I think we were all drinking to make the performance more exciting. (The pretend me is so funny)
Fairy Hairdresser: Oh you are so darling, and funny too! So, what are we going to do about this hair? Hmmm? (As she plays with my hair…which I love)
Funny Imaginary Me: Well, I really want my hair to express my personality.
Fairy Hairdresser: Tell me more about yourself. I’m fascinated.
Fascinating, Funny, Imaginary Me: I really like to try new things and I love change. Unless it means moving a bajillion times in three years. That I don’t like. Nope, not so much. I like to have fun; I like structure. That way I can bounce around and explore all the limits of those boundaries. It makes me feel safe. Kinda like going crazy in a bounce house. I’m not super classy, I’m kind of a clutz and I feel way younger than I actually am. I’m also really suprised at how old my high school friends look on their Myspace pages. When did they become grown ups? But I digress.
Fairy Hairdresser: Well, it sounds to me like you have exactly the hairstyle you want then.
Bewildered, Fascinating, Funny, Imaginary Me: Heh?
Fairy Hairdresser: You have the hairstyle that matches your personality. You went out on a whim, chopped your bangs to a microscopic height, died it platinum blonde, and trusted all of this to a woman you had met only 3 minutes prior. I think your hair matches your adventourous, youthful, trusting spirit exactly.
Enlightened, Un-bewildered, Fascinating, Funny, Imaginary Me: Oh

So I got a couple of low lights, kept the cut and I’m really loving my new hairstyle. The end.

Now can we please move on to more important topics like how much I really don’t like the tiny wrinkles in my post baby belly?