Dustin came home without the gleam. He looked surprisingly normal for a man that had 8 hours to think of the best way to massacre his first rooster. I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe something like this:
Nope. Just same old, after work Dustin. I was practically buzzing with anticipation of the night’s events. “How are you going to do it? No wait, don’t tell me. How do you know how to do this? Are you nervous? What if things go wrong? What if it doesn’t die on the first try and is limping around the yard pitifully in front of his friends?”
Dustin calmly told me he’d take care of it and doesn’t get what the big deal is. I guess that’s one of the differences between men and women. Men were made with the instinct to hunt, women with the instinct to nurture. Which makes me wonder what all of the men with this basic instinct are doing with it in urban civilization. Are they really satisfied going to their cubicle, turning in projects and then coming home for honey-do’s and family time? Does having a physical job make a man feel more manly? Dunno. What do you think?
Back to the story…. I didn’t go outside during the actual “event”. Instead, I stayed inside with the kids giving my sister-in-law a play-by-play via phone of what was going down. “No, he hasn’t done it yet… I have no idea what he’s going to use. WAIT…he’s going into the garage….I wonder what he’s going to come out with….He came in with….nothing! Is he actually going to use his bare hands?….Now he’s leaving the house with a… Target bag? No! Not Target! He could at least use a Wal-Mart bag. Not my beloved Target…..what’s he going to do with a grocery bag anyways? I’ll call you back.”
I did get brave enough to sneak out 15 minutes later to find him sitting on the ground “dressing” the chicken. (Why they call it “dressing” when you’re obviously forcing it to become a step beyond naked, I’ll never know.) He was calm, self assured and again, acted like it was no big deal. Boys are so different.
What’s in your google search bar? Mine…..”how to eviscerate a chicken”
8 Comments
Oh my goodness, that is so wild! Did you eat it?
So what happened? And what does it mean to dress a chicken? Cuz in my mind he put it in a dress! ha ha ha
that is quite funny! and interestingly enough my google search bar says “grand forks target” - i was looking for the address. target IS a great store. i just wish i didn’t have to drive to another country to shop at one! (thankfully the closest US target store is only 2 hours away from me!)
Eek! I don’t know what I would have done. So are you going to post pictures of whatever delicious dish you made of it?? =)
Oh I’m also curious what you made? I don’t think I could eat it, I have this mental block of everything that happened to the meat I eat before I buy it at the store. I have to just let myself think it doesn’t have an existence before I buy it packaged. Were you totally cool with eating it that fresh? I wish I could be like that.
My Mom grows her own Turkeys up there in Page, America. She gets them in spring, and the weekend before Thanksgiving she has a “Turkey Plucking party”. I will keep you posted on the TPP 2008. That would be cool if we could all go up there for that. Although with you having a brand new baby at the time not sure if that would work.
Haha, catching-up with you in this way is WONDERFUL! What an experience! We have more in common than you think.. we moved to the country to be more “self-sufficient” when Jake was in mah belly! Here we are, ducks, roosters, pygmy goats, EMU’s, etc. LOL Which tends to shock ppl most of the time! I can top you though (since we home-school) in case Jordan never mentioned this… we made Justice, Jacob & Jordan “butcher” a rooster each (& to make matters worse.. they were the cute colorfully dyed “Easter” chicks the year before!!) Then, we turned the “butchering into a science experiment! Forget the frogs! Anatomy TURLEY style! Oh, my. And (with Shane not being too computer literate.. he did everything by childhood memory, & we had not much knowledge about how TOUGH a rooster is!!) It was the “worst meal I ever ate” (but I haven’t had “diarrheas since Easters!” LOL) Man should we get together, compare stories and laugh until we wet ourselves!!! Miss you…
Oh my goodness I wrote you a paragraph, hit the “post comment button” and lost everything! *ugg*
Now, if I can only remember everything that I wrote (and copy it this time)!
This story is hilarious! And I must say, I LOVE catching up with you by reading your blogs, they are Laugh out LOUD funny, and I think it helps me get to know you so much better!!
I remember when Shane and I were so young, with lil ones.. and I was FULL of mister Jacob in belly.. and we made a move out to the country (after an array of farm life in the small space of a yard at our townhouse) and wanting to become more “self-sufficient”. Moving to the “country”, which is really desert in all actuality!
Here we sit, with critters all around, feeling like rednecks! I will admit that our humble life shocks people sometimes (as they didn’t expect that coming from us, and by the looks of our kiddos)!
I had to laugh at your story, because I can one-up you I think? In case Jordan has not yet shared this story with you.. being that we home-school, we turned our “slaughter” into a science experiment! It became Anatomy Turley style (forget those formaldehyde frogs!), with each of our older kids (3 in all) each butchering their own rooster. Which I might want to add, were cute little colored chicks brought home by Mom, from the feed store (around Easter-time)about a year earlier! These same darling little fuzzy chicks, became raging Roosters crowing ALL day and all night, and I can quote one neighbor as saying, that we had “retarded roosters” as they crow at night too! This coming from a man who lived on a farm in the midwest! haha
So.. being that Shane isn’t all that computer literate. He led the kids through the process of each “butchering & dressing” their own chickens! Except his knowledge came through childhood experience, and through that experience, he never mentioned the FACT that roosters are VERY TOUGH to eat!! And I will finish the story with (and I quote): “it was the WORST meal I ever ate!” but (also I quote): I haven’t had diarrhea’s since Easters..” haha
Love & miss you!