Comments on: The undetails of mugshots, sippycups and forgiveness - Part 3 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3 There's spit up on my tattoo Sat, 22 Nov 2008 09:14:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Emma http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-545 Emma Sat, 11 Aug 2007 03:57:12 +0000 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-545 My cousin was arrested a few months ago for throwing an alarm clock at her husband. He sort of set her up though, went on and on at her secretly videotaping it, until she finally got mad enough to lash out. Glad yours wasn't like that! My cousin was arrested a few months ago for throwing an alarm clock at her husband. He sort of set her up though, went on and on at her secretly videotaping it, until she finally got mad enough to lash out. Glad yours wasn’t like that!

]]> By: lizzy http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-542 lizzy Wed, 01 Aug 2007 01:10:08 +0000 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-542 Mary, my goodness. It's quite a story to tell--maybe someday you can laugh at it? But I can't blame you. I'd have done the same thing. My husband and I both deal with anger and frustration in very different ways. And usually not at the same time, either. One of us is angry and withdraws, the other becomes aggressive and pushy. It's hard to take that step back and breathe. I've thrown much worse things than a sippy cup. Since our boy was born, we've not fought like that, we wage our wars silently now. I'm not sure which is more productive. But what a scary, scary thing to have to go through. You and Dustin love one another very much, and it is a very normal thing for spouses and partners to argue. Mary, my goodness. It’s quite a story to tell–maybe someday you can laugh at it?
But I can’t blame you. I’d have done the same thing. My husband and I both deal with anger and frustration in very different ways. And usually not at the same time, either. One of us is angry and withdraws, the other becomes aggressive and pushy. It’s hard to take that step back and breathe.
I’ve thrown much worse things than a sippy cup. Since our boy was born, we’ve not fought like that, we wage our wars silently now. I’m not sure which is more productive.
But what a scary, scary thing to have to go through. You and Dustin love one another very much, and it is a very normal thing for spouses and partners to argue.

]]> By: Morgan http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-541 Morgan Tue, 31 Jul 2007 06:26:14 +0000 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-541 Mary, I have a similar story to yours. Fortunately, I never got arrested. Unfortunately, I did much worse things to my husband than throw a sippy cup. It's a long story (much longer than you'd like to read on your comments), but I think I'll write it out soon on my blog. I'm kind of scared because my husband's family doesn't know about what went on and they read my blog. We tried counseling, tried prayer, tried separating, nothing worked until I got true freedom from Jesus. For me, I had major anger issues rooted in rejection and abandonment (from my dad) and until those things were healed, nothing really changed. The counseling helps you deal with and cope with the arguments, but never really removes them. I'm happy to say that 2.5 years later we haven't had any arguments like that at all and it hasn't even come up. The feelings haven't even come up. So, I just wanted to give you hope! :) Mary, I have a similar story to yours. Fortunately, I never got arrested. Unfortunately, I did much worse things to my husband than throw a sippy cup. It’s a long story (much longer than you’d like to read on your comments), but I think I’ll write it out soon on my blog. I’m kind of scared because my husband’s family doesn’t know about what went on and they read my blog. We tried counseling, tried prayer, tried separating, nothing worked until I got true freedom from Jesus. For me, I had major anger issues rooted in rejection and abandonment (from my dad) and until those things were healed, nothing really changed. The counseling helps you deal with and cope with the arguments, but never really removes them. I’m happy to say that 2.5 years later we haven’t had any arguments like that at all and it hasn’t even come up. The feelings haven’t even come up. So, I just wanted to give you hope! :)

]]> By: Lynanne http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-540 Lynanne Tue, 31 Jul 2007 02:46:38 +0000 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-540 Oh wow. Though I had to resist the urge to chuckle at the thought of a sippy cup being considered an assault weapon, my heart goes out to you. This is exactly the kind of thing I would get arrested for doing. Whenever my husband and I get in a tiff, he has to "fix" things. It's always the same. He yells, I yell, things get nasty, he apologizes, I sulk, he wont let it go as long as I'm upset and follows me everywhere pleading with me. Sometimes I explode and lash out. Usually with profanity, though he's backed me into a corner where I've pushed/hit or thrown things in order to get away from him. Then he claims he wasn't doing anything wrong and only had the purist of intentions. Both my husband and I have had counseling. Both our counselors have told us how important it is to back off when one person needs his/her space. Following someone around and forcing the issue is harassment, plain and simple. Refusing to respect someone's clear request to leave them alone can be perceived as very threatening and aggressive, even if no malice is expressed or intended. Hopefully your husband will attend the anger management class with you? Oh wow. Though I had to resist the urge to chuckle at the thought of a sippy cup being considered an assault weapon, my heart goes out to you. This is exactly the kind of thing I would get arrested for doing. Whenever my husband and I get in a tiff, he has to “fix” things. It’s always the same. He yells, I yell, things get nasty, he apologizes, I sulk, he wont let it go as long as I’m upset and follows me everywhere pleading with me. Sometimes I explode and lash out. Usually with profanity, though he’s backed me into a corner where I’ve pushed/hit or thrown things in order to get away from him. Then he claims he wasn’t doing anything wrong and only had the purist of intentions.

Both my husband and I have had counseling. Both our counselors have told us how important it is to back off when one person needs his/her space. Following someone around and forcing the issue is harassment, plain and simple. Refusing to respect someone’s clear request to leave them alone can be perceived as very threatening and aggressive, even if no malice is expressed or intended.

Hopefully your husband will attend the anger management class with you?

]]> By: Chas http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-539 Chas Tue, 31 Jul 2007 02:34:51 +0000 http://perfektlymary.com/archives/the-undetails-of-mugshots-sippycups-and-forgiveness-part-3#comment-539 Well, it you're going to get arrested for something...at least it wasn't something terrible...I guess...I mean, I can't believe you can get arrested for that! Well, it you’re going to get arrested for something…at least it wasn’t something terrible…I guess…I mean, I can’t believe you can get arrested for that!

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